spoke too soon, part 2

well now that it seems to be full-fledged high season, bangkok is not as cheap anymore… the things in the grocery stores and minimart are still cheap as they have fixed prices, and so far the guesthouses and street stalls still cost the same. however, basically everything else, things that you have to bargain for, has gone up. most souvenirs, clothing, jewelry and other accessories are more than what i thought they would be, and it’s hard to bargain them down to the price of a month and a half ago.

speaking of bargaining though, my bargaining skills have gone to shit for some reason since getting to bangkok. i think i got used to the aggressive style of the vietnamese, so now when the thais bargain nicely (and cunningly), i give in and cave almost immediately without trying very hard. whereas with the vietnamese, i had to put up a strong front. the poor bargaining is a dilemma as i’ve already made a couple of purchases and have probably been ripped off by about $1.50 to $2 each time, which adds up after a while. i’ve also made a few VERY unnecessary purchases just because the thai storeowners have been very good at luring me slyly.

i’m tired of bargaining for everything. in vietnam, i almost cringed at trying to buy anything for fear of being ripped off and having to stress over haggling. however here, i cringe AFTER having purchased something for having made an unnecessary and pricey buy. too little too late.

spoke a bit too soon

… about liking bangkok. i appreciate being in a first-world-ish city again, but bangkok just doesn’t leave the same impression on me as it did a month and a half ago. (i will say though that my mood sways depending on who i’m with.) it’s also starting to become high season, which means LOTS AND LOTS of tourists and lots and lots of street hawkers. so much so, that it’s probably easier to get scammed. for instance, one of my friends 2 nights ago was set up by the cops in a scheme in which they took $700 from him.

last night, khao san road (the backpacker road) was packed like i’ve never seen before, with gazillions of street stalls and shops. it was a zoo, and i’m starting to get the sense that the locals here are going to start hassling for money like in vietnam and cambodia, although nowhere nearly as bad. i love that the tuk tuk drivers only hassle me like twice a day instead of like, 50 times a day. i actually miss vietnam though, because it was nowhere like i’ve ever been before. the experience was totally new and different, and definitely harder work and more of an adventure than thailand and lao (2 very friendly countries - the former being a really easy country to travel in).

that said, i think southeast asia in general is pretty easy to travel through and navigate. after having read eli b’s blog post about getting mugged in south africa, this part of asia seems like a piece of cake comparatively. knock on wood, but i haven’t yet gotten anything stolen, although i did lose a bra and a pair of underwear on two separate occasions (story to come later? there isn’t much of one though). it’s a well traversed area, and although asia seems pretty young on the backpacker circuit to most american, it really isn’t very new at all. and as i’ve said many times before, it’s so easy to run into travelers you’ve met at different points along the way in your travels since everyone generally goes to the same places and travels the same route either clockwise or counterclockwise. (for instance yesterday, i randomly ran into my american friend alex who i met a month and a half ago here in this said city. and just today, i ran into my aussie friend who i traveled with in lao.) anyway, the point is, it’s not too difficult.

referring back to eli’s post, i was wondering about the safety of south africa, because two of the guys i had been traveling with are from there. they claim there’s hardly any racism left and that it’s not very dangerous at all apart from jo-berg (they’re from cape town). i suppose i get the same questions too and answer in a similar way about the states and new york. but for some reason, i’m not totally convinced of them 100%, just because they also come from money (and as also mentioned before, they drink tons of alcohol, get wasted nearly every night, and blow money left and right) and yeah, they’re white. one is also conservative and is one of the only people i’ve met on this entire trip who’s rooting for mccain (his mom’s from nevada). screw that.

living on the cheap, cambodia, and other eclectic tales

here is a motley collection of thoughts. but first, let me just update you on my location. i’m back in bangkok (after a month and a half of being away), and boy, is it good to be back in a first-world-ish country with street lights, traffic lights, orderly traffic!!! (no darting through whizzing motorbikes!), crosswalks, metered taxis, smooth paved roads, highways, billboards, skyscrapers, 7-elevens (with price tags!), and plush busses that i took for granted and thought were shitty compared to the busses in korea and the states more than a month ago.

my notions are true, it’s been confirmed. thailand IS much cheaper than most of the southeast asian countries, considering it’s 10 times more developed than its neighbors. cambodia and lao were somewhat expensive, as they tried to milk as many dollars off of backpackers and pure tourists alike as was possible. vietnam was actually pretty cheap considering that it’s developing (and having heard that it wasn’t), but that involved sharing rooms with other friends or staying at hostels which were awesome, and eating at a lot of street stalls (great food, mind you). i think i was also totally turned off by the rude hawkers, and the more they said “you buy something lady? you buy from me lady? buy here lady?” or “tuk tuk? tuk tuk? motorbike?” at every turn and step, the more i didn’t feel like buying from them. (literally, you couldn’t walk down a street with a stall, store or tuk tuk/motorbike driver in vietnam without EVERY SINGLE one of them saying at least one of those things. that was the part of that country i was disgusted with. feeling like a walking atm machine.) what wasn’t thifty was that i spent loads on getting clothes tailored (some unnecessary in hindsight) in hoi an, the town known for their tailors.

price comparisons: scarves cost a dollar more in cambodia than in thailand (but i bought 3 silk scarves anyway – probably a dollar or 2 too much, but i didn’t know if they’d have the same variety in thailand). besides, i’d like to think i’m contributing to cambodia’s economy, one of the poorest nations in the world. interesting side note: laos is supposedly poorer than cambodia and it was one of the most heavily bombed countries in the world. however, the people there seemed very content and satisfied living a pastoral lifestyle, which differs from the outlooks of cambodians it seemed, as they were all about money, money, money. i never saw a beggar in lao and very few prostitutes. in cambodia, beggars, amputees, children, and prostitutes asking for money were everywhere. bottles of water and snacks are cheaper here in thailand compared to cambodia also. so are food and fruit shakes (almost by $2) and bracelets too (was quoted $3 for a bracelet in cambodia that’s 60 cents here!).

when i’m by myself, i’m borderline ridiculous in frugality. i’d rather skip a meal or walk for 30 minutes finding a street stall rather than spend $2 or $3 (expensive by SE standards) on a meal at a western restaurant. and i’d rather walk a half-mile with my heavy pack and daypack in the boiling heat under the scorching sun than get ripped off by annoying tuk tuk drivers pestering me with “tuk tuk lady? where are you going?”

that said, i love traveling with other people i’ve met on the road and actually prefer it, although i usually can’t be as thrifty as i want to be (though i was on the same page with most girls). i’ve found that traveling with girls is much much cheaper than traveling with guys. girls are generally overly conscious of their spending, especially if it’s not on clothing and jewelry. we’re cheap with food and accomodations. we’ll skip a meal and shop around multiple stalls rather than settle for the first place we see. yet guys, who i find are actually better traveling companions in terms of conversation and humor and what not, do generally settle. if they’re hungry, they’re hungry, and they’ll go wherever there’s good food. they generally prefer comfort over thrift. they eat 3 square meals a day, if not more. just my observations.

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i arrived in bangkok last night from siem reap, cambodia. i spent 2 (or was it 3?) nights in phnom penh (creepy town), 2 in sihanoukville (a quiet beach town, though still very touristy and lined with bars and cafes with thatched roofs and deck chairs), and 2 more in siem reap. the angkor temples, needless to say, were extremely impressive. but surprisingly, i enjoyed angkor thom and the other temple where tomb raider was filmed (forget the cambodian name) much more than angkor wat itself. it rained when i got to those two temples, and they had a charm and enigma that was far greater than the super touristy, overly commercialized angkor wat. i loved that angkor thom had large contented, smiling heads carved on the temple and tiles of the dancing vishnus (or shivas?). the tomb raider temple, overgrown with trees and accessorized by monkey screeches high up above, were simply surreal. loved it.

after one day at angkor, i walked around the city of siem reap alone the following day, having seen mark, my dutch travel companion of more than a week, off. i was slightly disturbed by cambodia though, and find that i couldn’t think clearly. i don’t know what it was. maybe it was phnom penh, visiting the s-21 prison museum and having had nightmares for a few nights afterwards, or maybe it was all the beggars and desperate people i saw on the streets, or the high tourist prices everywhere. or maybe, even, it was the slow internet connection that i couldn’t bare! or still yet, maybe it was the slight sadness i felt after breaks and goodbyes with friends leaving, traveling elsewhere or on a different schedule and feeling cerebral traveling alone with so much time to myself. but the point is, i really wanted to leave cambodia. and now i kind of regret it! i wish i could’ve done another day at angkor too. well, i suppose it’s a good thing that i’m in want of having seen and done more. you can’t do everything everywhere, i know. and even the days that were a waste were still better than not having done them at all…

but the biggest reason for this regret actually is that i wanted to volunteer in cambodia (which i knew i might’ve wanted to do even before getting there) either at an orphanage, hospital or school. but because of my personal selfishness to get out of the depressive poverty and to meet up with people in bangkok, i left early. i say this now after feeling relief last night at getting back to bangkok (as my first paragraph in this post tells). but now that the consumerism, materialism and commercial mini-culture shock has set in, i’m longing to do something productive. i’m not sure that i can find any good opportunities in thailand. regrets man, they suck.

anyway, after bangkok, i’m headed south to the islands of ko phi phi, krabi (not an island), ko phagnan and ko samui (these last two for the full and half moon party). then after, i think i’ll head to malaysia and indonesia i think, where perhaps i’ll find volunteer work. but if i can afford it and have the time, i’m actually considering going back up to cambodia to fulfill that guilty desire i have… not sure if i will, but it would be nice.

the locals

i’m currently in phnom penh, cambodia, headed for sihanoukville tomorrow. good ol’ eli b. brings up a good point in his comment on my last post, so i’ll dedicate this post to my experiences with the locals which i’ve been remiss about as of late.

truth be told, i wasn’t very fond of the vietnamese, although i love thais and laos (i think i mentioned this in a previous post). let me explain why. these are generalizations, but for the most part, the vietnamese are very rude and basically only care for your money. they will talk to you and approach you only to offer you a motorbike or cyclo ride. “motorbike miss? motorbike madam?” are encountered at every corner a thousand times a day. it gets immensely annoying after a while. it’s hard to simply ignore them when they also follow you down the block. (also imagine being a solo girl with a huge pack when you’ve just gotten off a bus and have to look for the right guesthouse or hostel, and you’re basically just being bombarded by a chaotic mass of motorbike drivers thirsting for your money). so you’re either compelled to be rude back at them or pretend they don’t exist.

here’s a solid example of rude behavior in vietnam (also bear in mind that my image of the vietnamese was tainted by the hellish 29-hour bus ride and the incident at the food stall – go back a few posts for that story): you cannot simply browse or window shop in vietnam. if you touch something, the saleswomen will scurry over to you and say “very nice, i give you very good price.” and whether you intended to bargain and buy it or not, if you don’t end up purchasing it, they’ll hastily and roughly snatch the item right out of your hands, turn away with a loud “hmph,” speak loud insults in vietnamese, and turn abruptly to another customer.

in another instance, i bargained really well for myself for some fruit, and the lady just snatched the money right out of my hands because she wasn’t satisfied with how much she was getting. (and another thing is more often than not, you need exact change or they will simply take all the money for themselves.) there are countless, COUNTLESS stories of these things happening in vietnam. also bear in mind that i almost didn’t go to vietnam because of all the bad reviews i’ve heard about the country. many fellow travelers have said they would never go back to vietnam again because of all the brusque and unappetizing attitude of the locals. and this is not taking into account just the general loudness, ill/strangely-mannered behavior of the people there (particularly men, who’ll just whip out their members on the side of the road in more rural areas and just take a piss right in front of you). and YES, i realize that’s part of being immersed in a different culture, and i take all of these sights with a grain of salt and understand that this is how the people here live, but it’s something that’s hard for a lot of westerners to digest – even for any open-minded person.

to be fair, the people in the north were much more abrasive than the southern vietnamese. still, i got the sense that they all only really cared for you money. you essentially feel like a walking atm machine. they don’t care to get to know you at all, which is also a fairly big contrast from the laos and thais. even when we went on a small excursion up a river known as the fairy stream in mui ne, little boys (9 and 14 years old, who really looked more about 6 and walked beside our group. but we rarely spoke back to them as we all knew what they intentions were: money. i finally caved a bit and talked briefly to the boys, and they told stories of how their parents had passed away and that they were very poor (but one of the boys had dyed hair – hm, how could he afford that?). at the end of our little trip up the stream, they demanded “MONEY MONEY MONEY!,” and started screaming and throwing huge tantrums. this is my general perception of the vietnamese. they won’t hesitate to cheat you for more money – not in the slightest.

the vietnamese are a hardy people. even their landscape is really rough. they’ve been through a lot for sure, but so have the laos and the cambodians. i’ve only been in cambodia for a day, and i haven’t encountered the same kind of rudeness i did in vietnam. sure, they still want your money here, but they’re never short of a smile back at you. i feel i’ve rarely seen the vietnamese smile other than to make fun of something.

so this is why my posts in vietnam lacked anything much about the people there.

it’s also tricky business being a female traveler in these countries. in lao, my aussie friend and i befriended a 25-year old local guy who worked at the bar we were chilling at, and although he was very friendly, extremely nice and probably totally harmless, he was clearly talking to hit on us and flirt with us, particularly my white aussie friend.

in thailand, i had befriended a few locals through couchsurfing (i think i’ve mentioned this before, but it’s a super awesome networking sight for travelers) and they were great. but the problem i had with them was that i couldn’t ever get them to talk about anything serious. they didn’t really want or care to talk about the real conditions and situation in their country. they also liked to drink LOADSSSSS of alcohol, and i couldn’t keep up with them and really couldn’t handle hanging out with them much more towards the end of my stay in bangkok and chiang mai as they wanted to get drunk literally every night!

so far, here in cambodia, i’ve met one nice 19 year old guy. i sat next to him at a food stall yesterday in the late afternoon, and he just started talking to me. he spoke great english for a guy who didn’t learn the language in school.  i learned that he was a car driver (i don’t believe they have real taxis here, so he just picks up anyone who wants a ride for a small fee). that was nice, but we didn’t get very far in our conversation. i think he mentioned something about being poor and still living with his parents (which is very typical here even as adults). still though, this conversation was a nice reprieve from the quite literal animosity i felt in vietnam. i can already tell the cambodians are friendlier than their eastern neighbors.

speaking of cambodia though, it’s definitely a very poor country. i don’t know if it’s supposed to be one of the poorest or not.. however, phnom penh seems to be rapidly developing (with the help of korean construction companies it seems, as i see korean construction, restaurant and store signs everywhere. in fact, it was also like that in saigon. i think korea must be doing a lot of development work in this region). anyway, the biggest difference i notice from cambodia and vietnam or thailand is that although the main road is paved, the side roads are not at all. and although lao was quite poor, it was mostly that the entire country seemed rather underdeveloped and pastoral. i didn’t see so many beggers even in their biggest city of vietiane like i’ve already seen here in phnom penh. for some reason, although lao has been through a lot, the people there always seemed happy. here, i get a slightly mixed sense. i guess the people are still trying to recover from the khmer rouge days.

speaking of this, i went to the s-21 museum today, the prison where they used to confine, torture and execute thousands of people during the khmer rouge revolution. really gruesome stuff. it really dampened my afternoon, and i have decided i don’t want to go to the killing fields. i think today was enough.

as far as the war remnants museum in saigon, there was a lot of terrible stuff there as well. america did a lot of horrible things for sure, agent orange, napalm and the whole “burn all, destroy all, kill all” policy. and although there was one exhibit about the american soldiers who died sponsored by some american foundation and another exhibit about the war protests around the world, it was quite one sided, as was the cuchi tunnel tour and the hanoi hilton museum. i suppose it’s all propaganda and that’s just how it is… it got me thinking though, does america have a substantial exhibit or museum dedicated to slavery? i know there are native american museums, but i haven’t yet been to one solely dedicated slavery, and i’m quite curious to see what’s shown and exhibited.

oh, i get stared a lot here! like, a LOT! i got stared at in vietnam (in hanoi and saigon especially) and most thais and laos assumed i was japanese or korean. but MAN, i can’t avoid it here at all! and i’m not even white! i was walking with my dutch friend mark today and i felt that they were staring more at me than at him.

anyway, off i go to take a much needed shower – it’s boiling here! contemplating eating a ‘happy’ pizza tonight. can you guess what that is? hmmm…

still in HCMC..

i’m nursing a pretty bad hangover from a pretty riotous night out. this usually happens when we order buckets, which are literally small buckets full of something like jungle juice. apparently, i hit my head really hard while dancing, but i don’t recall it! i tell ya, the saffy (south african) boys are ridiculous drinkers. i don’t understand how they do it nearly every night, but i’m guaranteed a wild, fun night out every time i hang out with them. they start the party at whatever bar they go, sometimes to their detriment.

i’m leaving tomorrow for a 2-day mekong delta tour, then taking the slowboat to phnom penh, cambodia. should be fun times. well, minus the killing fields.. but i’m certain cambodia will be an interesting country to visit. i’ll probably be there for about a week or so.. 2 or 1 day in phnom penh, 2 or 3 days in sinoukville (a beach town), and 2 days in siem reap for ankor wat.

my previous concern that i’d have to meet a whole slew of new people has been thrown out the window. besides the handful of friends i keep bumping into and/or traveling with, i’ve also run into doug, an american guy from dc/virginia i first met in chiang mai, the israeli woman i was previously traveling with in northern vietnam, an irish girl from my bus trip from laos who doesn’t like beer (poor excuse for an irishman!), and a few others. the sad thing about hcmc though, is that this is either the last leg or the start of most backpackers’ trips, so i’ll have to say goodbye to most of these guys soon…

i’m still considering meeting up with some people in indonesia as well as australia… we’ll see.

having been in vietnam since sept 27th, i’m quite glad i came (i almost didn’t, due to the poor reviews some previous travelers gave of the country). the only regret i have is not having gone to sapa, a mountain village up in the north where the hmong tribes live…

a brief note: this post has no coherence whatsoever, i’m just writing whatever comes to mind.. i wish i could write more about some of the adventures i’ve had and my friends’ have had, but that takes time, so i’ll save it for another day.

on an entirely different note, being american really does kinda suck sometimes while traveling. you get the feeling that everyone hates the american gov’t. you can’t believe the countless conversations i’ve had in which we’ve all (myself included) endlessly bashed american foreign policy and just the general backwardness of some things about america. EVERYONE, seriously EVERYONE in the world (except for one of the south africans whose mom is an american from nevada) wants Obama to win. the world wants Obama to win, and it will be VERY disappointed if he doesn’t. they probably pay attention to the debates and the ongoing news about the presidential race than the average American. go Obama!

well, right now, i’m off to the war remembrance museum, which used to be called the american atrocities museum. lovely! should make me feel great about being american.

i’ve posted a select few photos on facebook. check it out. there will be more to come soon.

in HCMC/Saigon, Vietnam

waiting for my pics to upload onto facebook. it’s taking more than 2 hours, ugh. but at least it’s finally uploading, and although i’ve lost a few precious photos, i still have the great majority of them, thank the Lord! hallelujah.

okay, so i’m now traveling with a dutch guy named mark, although who knows for how long. i actually met him in hoi an, about a week earlier. (around these parts, you can easily run into people you’ve met from previous cities, since nearly everyone takes the same route.) he is awesome, just like 95% of the people i’ve met, and funny, which is key and which i was starved for when i was with the swede. i left staffan in mui ne, and dunno if i’ll be able to meet up with him again.

i like HCMC. it’s larger, more commercial and modern than hanoi. however, hanoi had an old school charm that HCMC lacks. i’ve realized that i like cities a lot. however, the sightseeing can get to be a drag sometimes. so though i like the craziness and hectic feeling of cities, i prefer going on treks and seeing nature, mountains and water over visiting temples (which i’ve done too much of anyway at this point).

i’m only here for a few days more, and have to decide if i want to catch up with mark in cambodia or wait up for my other friends behind me… hm..

oh, the heat rash is getting better, but my stomach is NOT. for the past couple of days, i’ve had the runs every time i eat. i can’t tell what it is. it could be that i stopped taking anti-malarial pills (on the advice of staffan) and i’m now having problems producing bacteria in my stomach… but it friggin sucks. i hope it stops soon, because i’d like to eat and not have to go to the bathroom every time afterwards… also, i hope this stops for cambodia, because there is essentially no modern medical care there and you’d have to go straight to thailand if you get sick.

stay tuned!

in Mui Ne, Vietnam

So I’m currently in Mui Ne, Vietnam, another beach town (if you can really call it a town, because it’s so small) in the south. To be honest, I wish I’d stayed in Nha Trang a bit longer. This place has better beaches, but there’s essentially no town – there’s only something that resembles a small resort strip.. Nha Trang had a good nightlife (i.e. rowdy, boisterous backpackers’ bars), and some of my travel friends since my slowboat trip in Lao are still there.. In any case, there are two new developments since my last Vietnam update.

The first is that I’m now traveling with a HOTTT (and i mean, excessively super HOTTT) Swedish medical student named Staffan. I met him and his other Swedish friend Anders (actually met this guy first) at the hotel myself and my two English friends (two girls who I’ve also known since my Lao slowboat trip) were staying at. Don’t get any ideas, it’s strictly platonic. But MAN, the first day we were traveling together, I could not look at him in the eye for fear of fainting from his hotness. I’ve been sharing hotel rooms with him along the way too (separate beds, mind you), which does NOT help one bit. It does NOT help that we’re also on the beach all the time. Literally, the first day we were together by ourselves, I think I went into the bathroom just to pace around and think in my head, “Shit, fuck, goddamnit man!” This has made traveling with him a bit difficult, but I think I’m slowly getting over it. At least he’s not super funny, or else, I don’t know what I’d do – I might have shot myself by now. Plus, tomorrow, I think we’re splitting up and going our separate ways. (Parting ways is always so sad, man… That’s the one thing I dislike about traveling!)

Anyway, this first development was made further difficult by a second new development I’ve had. I’ve developed a terrible rash all over my arms and legs. It’s turned out to be a really really bad heat rash (they look like boils really), but for about a half day, Staffan (who, as I said, is a med student) thought it could’ve been scabies. Thankfully, his medical contact back in Sweden thinks it’s not, which is a relief since there are no hospitals in this town. Plus I’m with a hot Swedish guy, and that would suck if I actually had something serious and contagious like scabies. Hopefully, it’ll go away in a few days because it’s terribly unbecoming.

Oh, another scare was that I thought I lost most of my travel pics, but I’m hoping I still have them – it’s a bit uncertain at this point, but I’m not going to freak out about it just this minute and I’ll wait till I get to a bigger town with better computers.. While traveling, you learn that your camera and flash drives are your life, possibly as or more important than your passport. And I don’t mean the physical camera itself, but the pictures in them, because truly, they are priceless.

I think I’m headed to Ho Chi Minh City tomorrow, probably by myself… Most of my travel friends are either still behind me or long ahead of me headed towards home. I presume I’ll be by myself at HCMC, which’ll probably be a source of boredom and loneliness but I’m hoping I won’t be alone for too long and will meet some good people again..

I’m still thinking a lot about home – both the people and places back home, and also what I need/want to do once I’m back. Again, I think I’ll be home in the relatively near future. It’s gonna suck to miss Halloween and possibly Homecoming though. I’d really not prefer to miss Thanksgiving also…

on schooling… in Korea, an old post

This is an old post from like 2 months ago that I meant to edit, but didn’t have time to. I’m posting it anyway, because I still think it’s insightful about my life in Seoul and the things I went through. Enjoy my broken English, haa.

Below this post is FINALLY a new post about ‘Nam.

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man, i’m so delayed with these updates… i wanted to write earlier in the week, but just couldn’t get myself to write in a way that i was pleased with. (my english is also deteriorating. i’ve been dropping articles and mixing tenses, having to simplify my speech for the students at work. i start a lot of sentences with “first of all” since i’m teaching them how to use transitional phrases in multi-paragraph essays. so sorry about the hasty writing style.) to sum up, my days have been really catatonic – it’s been mostly pleasant the last few weeks, but there were indeed a couple of really hellish days. i’ve gone sightseeing and visited a couple of historic places, and that’s definitely made me a lot happier. i’ve decided stressing out about work is useless. the job shouldn’t be a priority for me. i’m here to enjoy myself and my time here, right? and not just waste my energy at the hakwon all day long.

okay, quick summary of work (i will definitely have to go into more detail about this later, because there are a lot of interesting cultural differences that i’ve been shocked to learn in the school environment):
have i mentioned that the schooling system is insane here? the parents are insane. the kids are insane. the whole system is insane. with some classes, the most poorly behaved ones, i’m essentially a glorified babysitter. i can’t tell if the kids misbehave because they’re taking all of their anger and hatred of the system and their parents out on me, or if they’re simply spoiled kids – i think it’s both.

but some days, i do sympathize with the kids. if the kids don’t do their homework, are late or are absent, i have to tell the front desk people, who call the parents. often, i hear the next day that they got yelled at by their parents. one really adorable and good student forgot to do his homework one day and begged me not to call his house, or else he wouldn’t be able to come to school on monday (this was a friday). i asked him why, to which he said that he’d be too badly bruised to come to school. um, yeah. another got yelled at for a couple of hours. it’s really pretty insane. then i asked them if they loved their parents and they automatically said yes. i don’t get it. i mean, my parents were pretty strict with me too, but i don’t know. i was shocked and unnerved to hear these things…

i really didn’t realize the whole idea of “saving face” was a big cultural thing here (because it’s pretty subtle), but it is. that’s why so many of the kids don’t participate, because they don’t want to embarass themselves. and here i am, a thoroughly American teacher (who, by the way, doesn’t know any of the pop starts, celebrities, historical figures, or Olympic athletes of korea – EXTREME SHOCK FROM THE STUDENTS, like the whole class gasped in horror and disappointment) trying to teach the class American-style.

but because the kids DO know that i’m American and we’re supposedly easier to manipulate and nicer than Korean teachers, and because they know that i’m one of the younger teachers with less experience, the kids really do try to test my limits. they try to break you (me). really, they do. also, teachers used to get a lot more respect even in the ’80s or ’90s, but with the advent of the internet, cell phone cameras and small video cameras, they haven’t. why? back in the day, teachers used to be able to use corporal punishment. but not anymore… because kids started taking photos of their bruises and whatnot and posting them all over the internet. parents have also begun spoiling their children immensely. and although teaching was considered a respected profession even through the ’90s, it’s less so now…

anyway, where i was going with this is that kids are less fearful and respectful of teachers. plus, i’m a young Korean American. so they talk back and stand up to me even more. i had to kick a kid out of class early last week, but he didn’t even budge. there’s also a way of talking in Korean that’s really rude (opposite of the honorific) and some of them had started using that. i took a kid aside after class earlier this week and he just said right to my face, “i don’t want to talk to you” and turned around and left. this is the shit i’ve been dealing with.

PLUS, so many kids, even the good ones, expect you to get them snacks for class (this is very common). and they’ll ask for things. it’s weird. but yeah, they want you to buy things for them! it’s insane. and they say, well, you’re older so you should buy us things.. this is a cultural thing – older people do really buy lunch for the younger people all the time. for instances, my relatives give me money all too frequently. each week, they give me an allowance of $100! i’ve started refusing, because honestly, it’s nice, but they don’t need to give me money and i feel awkward accepting so much.

the kids make fun of me often, because i can’t speak korean and they will say things in korean to test my comprehension level and what not. they also talk about me among themselves like i’m invisible and can’t hear them. for instance, “the teacher has a small face.” and i responded, “oh really?” as in, “i heard you” but they remain unfazed. or they will talk about weight in front of you. “does Min teacher weigh more than 45 kg?” um yeah…

the maturity level of most kids is SO LOW! i thought a lot of them were in middle school, like 13 or 14 – 15 at the absolute oldest. but a lot of them are 17 or 18. some of the kids are so adorable, but really, they’re devilish. also, the kids, admins, and teachers alike all gossip so much.

oh yeah, i used the word “fucking” in one of my worst classes and got in a little bit trouble for it. yeah.. i was so frustrated and said “this will get you a fucking zero.” the kids immediately told the front desk and some even told their moms. i mean, fucking asshole kids. BUT.

there’s a big but. i’ve dropped two of my classes (those classes with the worst kids), and have a much lighter schedule now, and i love the kids i have in the mornings in the remaining classes i teach. but then, there’s the whole thing of becoming TOO friendly with them. they want my facebook/myspace/cyworld (a korean social network i don’t have), they want to visit me, they want to TAKE ME PLACES like this island called Jeju island (one female student told her mom about me. and now her mom and her both want me to visit her hometown – Jeju Island which is a super nice kinda tropical island that’s a plane ride away. like whattt??). they want to hang out with me. i mean, this is a little overboard. i know other teachers are more lenient in a lot of ways, buying their kids lunch and stuff, but i would never do that. and to hang out with them on weekends? i mean, some of the kids are cool.. but like, this is kinda weird.

Wild Times in ‘Nam

Currently in Hoi An, Vietnam.

The below is most of an email I wrote to a friend, copied and pasted. Some wild times were had.

The drinking’s decreased a bit, which I’m partly thankful for but partly not! It adds madness to things which can be fun.. But I suppose it’s better for my health.

Also, since when was UWisconsin such a great school? I mean, I know it’s not bad, especially for a public university, but um, to compare it to Harvard? This American girl I’m traveling with is cool, but she can be so f-ing pretentious at times. Comparing UWis to Harvard? I mean, come on! It’s put out more CEOS than Harvard, she says. Well, for 1, it’s a freakin huge school, and 2, what caliber are these CEOS really? Anyway, that pissed me off. Americans are bound to piss me off though at some point without fail, it kinda sucks..

A few other things. The Vietnamese love to holler. I hear they’re ruder in China and India though..

My previous presumption that Aussies are the coolest travelers still holds true. However, Israeli travelers are often quite haughty, cocky and rude than not. Believe me, this has nothing to do with Judiasm as nearly three quarters of my friends back home are Jewish. But these Israelis act like they own the freaking place, and so I generally dislike them. Some Brits can be asshole too, but they’re usually pretty cool. Germans are awesome as well.

I still dislike how people try to put me in a box, as far as my appearance/nationality is concerned.

—

Currently, I’m a bit stressed about when I need to come back to the States… The whole American pressure to advance (and it IS American, and perhaps a bit East Asian) is getting to me. I’m traveling with a 34 year old Israeli woman and another 24 year old American girl (the UWis grad), and although I like them overall, it can be annoying to be with them 24/7, for different reasons with each… Being with another American reminds me of the pressures to DO THINGS and to MAKE SOMETHING of myself and think about what I want to do next constantly, because that’s what we’re often talking about a lot of times. But then again, that’s about all she and I have in common so I’ve been continuously submerged (it does feel like I’m submerged) in this pressure, since a few days ago at least… What do I want to do? Law, film, international stuff? I still haven’t figured it out. I think the rents also want me home soon, which is a whole another issue that I don’t even want to get into. Apparently the Brits and Aussies don’t feel this pressure for which I commend greatly..

Other than that, I’m having a blast. I’m in Hoi An, Vietnam right now. It’s a nice, lovely old town, definitely a reprieve from the madness of Hanoi. You have to literally dodge and dart between motorbikes, bikes and cars left and right when crossing the street, as there are no lane markings on most streets – neither markings for lanes on the same side nor oncoming traffic. Also, very few streets have traffic lights.. People don’t ever seem to use turn signals, but honk to alert neighboring vehicles and people.. No road rules whatsoever. It is insane!

I had a couple of wild adventures my first few days in Hanoi actually. I was nearly held hostage at the Lao-Vietnam border for not giving a dollar (yes, $1, but it goes a long way here) to this one random Vietnamese guy on my bus. There were only three foreigners on the bus: myself, an Aussie guy and an Irish girl. I was actually sort of getting ready to pay up (most people do when they cross the border) until the Aussie guy asked why we need to. That got all of our gears rolling, so the Vietnamese guy started shouting at us and demanding money without any explanation, and actually had the nerve to hike up this no-name fee to $2. So we started mildly arguing with him and saying that we’d pay the border officials but not to him. We spoke to the border official who didn’t speak a lick of English (we were at an unofficial border that foreigners generally can’t cross because there was a land slide by the official one) who also concurred with this random guy and said we needed to give him the dollar. We still refused and finally after about a half hour, the guy gave up. BUT not without telling the entire bus full of Vietnamese people and turning them all against us. By this point, the Aussie guy paid up (what a wuss for starting this whole thing but paying in the end), while the Irish girl and I still hadn’t, and so they were pretty pissed. They pulled the bus over about 100 meter down from the border crossing, and I thought shit was gonna go down. They all got off the bus and sat at the curb for about 3 HOURS (part of which was their lunch) in protest of our not giving the money. I didn’t get off the bus for fear that they’d just leave us there or steal my stuff. When they all got back on and the bus finally started going again, Jesus Christ, I thought they were going to drop us off in the middle of nowhere so I got no sleep the rest of the ride, and was delayed about 6 hours from when we were originally supposed to get to Hanoi (I was supposed to get in at 5 pm, but didn’t make it till midnight, ruining plans to meet up with travel buddies). I am however proud to say I didn’t give the dollar. Much trouble for a dollar though. I don’t know if I’d do the same thing again if it happened again, I probably wouldn’t. The problem was that I didn’t want to pay up as soon as the guy started yelling, as I don’t deal well with people coercing me to do something I don’t want to do. Once we started arguing, it was also hard to back down. Plus, by the time the third hour of waiting rolled around, we’d pretty much resigned ourselves to whatever fate was ahead of us. Bus ride from hell, really. And this doesn’t even compare to the breakdowns we had on the minibuses in Lao…

Another time in Hanoi, this woman at a food stall started yelling at a German friend and me for not giving her enough money for our food, which we paid for but she wanted double. As soon as we got up to go, fifteen of them surrounded us and we were thinking, fuck, shit, this is gonna be bad. I let my German friend do most of the talking, though I did my share.. They were literally blocking us from walking even a foot forward. As I’m trying to walk away, the owner, this older 50-something year old woman who was about 4 foot 9, suddenly grabbed my right upper arm really hard. I was jerked back, and at this point, I was suddenly boiling mad, just extremely pissed off, the do-not-tamper seal was broken, the jar was dropped and shattered. (Poor analogies? Perhaps..) Anyway, I turned around and started yelling at her at the top of my lungs – I think I said, “Don’t you fucking touch me, you fucking bitch!” It was her finally crossing the line and touching me that did it. At this point, I was standing over her and nearly about to punch her teeth out. Yes, I was enraged. She was still yelling at us, but we finally broke through the crowd and walked away at a brisk pace. And it’s suffice to say we avoided that street until we left Hanoi the next night!

Anyway, just a few adventures. I’ve heard of even more horrorific stories from friends and fellow travelers. The Vietnamese, especially in the North, definitely aren’t as friendly as Thais and Laos, and in fact, can be downright hostile. Currently, I’m in this small town called Hoi An fairly close to the coast and also on a river. I think I’m headed out of this town tomorrow for Nha Trang, another coastal-ish town, then Dalat, Mui Ne, and then Ho Chi Minh City. But yeah, I’m seriously considering coming back to the states relatively soon, maybe after Cambodia and southern Thailand. Like late Oct/early November-ish. Which would mean I’d cut out Malaysia, Singapore and Australia, maybe even Hawaii. Which would suck, because I always meant to end up in Oz towards the end of my trip. But I don’t know… Too many unknowns! Ahh!

Any suggestions?