Wild Times in ‘Nam

Currently in Hoi An, Vietnam.

The below is most of an email I wrote to a friend, copied and pasted. Some wild times were had.

The drinking’s decreased a bit, which I’m partly thankful for but partly not! It adds madness to things which can be fun.. But I suppose it’s better for my health.

Also, since when was UWisconsin such a great school? I mean, I know it’s not bad, especially for a public university, but um, to compare it to Harvard? This American girl I’m traveling with is cool, but she can be so f-ing pretentious at times. Comparing UWis to Harvard? I mean, come on! It’s put out more CEOS than Harvard, she says. Well, for 1, it’s a freakin huge school, and 2, what caliber are these CEOS really? Anyway, that pissed me off. Americans are bound to piss me off though at some point without fail, it kinda sucks..

A few other things. The Vietnamese love to holler. I hear they’re ruder in China and India though..

My previous presumption that Aussies are the coolest travelers still holds true. However, Israeli travelers are often quite haughty, cocky and rude than not. Believe me, this has nothing to do with Judiasm as nearly three quarters of my friends back home are Jewish. But these Israelis act like they own the freaking place, and so I generally dislike them. Some Brits can be asshole too, but they’re usually pretty cool. Germans are awesome as well.

I still dislike how people try to put me in a box, as far as my appearance/nationality is concerned.

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Currently, I’m a bit stressed about when I need to come back to the States… The whole American pressure to advance (and it IS American, and perhaps a bit East Asian) is getting to me. I’m traveling with a 34 year old Israeli woman and another 24 year old American girl (the UWis grad), and although I like them overall, it can be annoying to be with them 24/7, for different reasons with each… Being with another American reminds me of the pressures to DO THINGS and to MAKE SOMETHING of myself and think about what I want to do next constantly, because that’s what we’re often talking about a lot of times. But then again, that’s about all she and I have in common so I’ve been continuously submerged (it does feel like I’m submerged) in this pressure, since a few days ago at least… What do I want to do? Law, film, international stuff? I still haven’t figured it out. I think the rents also want me home soon, which is a whole another issue that I don’t even want to get into. Apparently the Brits and Aussies don’t feel this pressure for which I commend greatly..

Other than that, I’m having a blast. I’m in Hoi An, Vietnam right now. It’s a nice, lovely old town, definitely a reprieve from the madness of Hanoi. You have to literally dodge and dart between motorbikes, bikes and cars left and right when crossing the street, as there are no lane markings on most streets – neither markings for lanes on the same side nor oncoming traffic. Also, very few streets have traffic lights.. People don’t ever seem to use turn signals, but honk to alert neighboring vehicles and people.. No road rules whatsoever. It is insane!

I had a couple of wild adventures my first few days in Hanoi actually. I was nearly held hostage at the Lao-Vietnam border for not giving a dollar (yes, $1, but it goes a long way here) to this one random Vietnamese guy on my bus. There were only three foreigners on the bus: myself, an Aussie guy and an Irish girl. I was actually sort of getting ready to pay up (most people do when they cross the border) until the Aussie guy asked why we need to. That got all of our gears rolling, so the Vietnamese guy started shouting at us and demanding money without any explanation, and actually had the nerve to hike up this no-name fee to $2. So we started mildly arguing with him and saying that we’d pay the border officials but not to him. We spoke to the border official who didn’t speak a lick of English (we were at an unofficial border that foreigners generally can’t cross because there was a land slide by the official one) who also concurred with this random guy and said we needed to give him the dollar. We still refused and finally after about a half hour, the guy gave up. BUT not without telling the entire bus full of Vietnamese people and turning them all against us. By this point, the Aussie guy paid up (what a wuss for starting this whole thing but paying in the end), while the Irish girl and I still hadn’t, and so they were pretty pissed. They pulled the bus over about 100 meter down from the border crossing, and I thought shit was gonna go down. They all got off the bus and sat at the curb for about 3 HOURS (part of which was their lunch) in protest of our not giving the money. I didn’t get off the bus for fear that they’d just leave us there or steal my stuff. When they all got back on and the bus finally started going again, Jesus Christ, I thought they were going to drop us off in the middle of nowhere so I got no sleep the rest of the ride, and was delayed about 6 hours from when we were originally supposed to get to Hanoi (I was supposed to get in at 5 pm, but didn’t make it till midnight, ruining plans to meet up with travel buddies). I am however proud to say I didn’t give the dollar. Much trouble for a dollar though. I don’t know if I’d do the same thing again if it happened again, I probably wouldn’t. The problem was that I didn’t want to pay up as soon as the guy started yelling, as I don’t deal well with people coercing me to do something I don’t want to do. Once we started arguing, it was also hard to back down. Plus, by the time the third hour of waiting rolled around, we’d pretty much resigned ourselves to whatever fate was ahead of us. Bus ride from hell, really. And this doesn’t even compare to the breakdowns we had on the minibuses in Lao…

Another time in Hanoi, this woman at a food stall started yelling at a German friend and me for not giving her enough money for our food, which we paid for but she wanted double. As soon as we got up to go, fifteen of them surrounded us and we were thinking, fuck, shit, this is gonna be bad. I let my German friend do most of the talking, though I did my share.. They were literally blocking us from walking even a foot forward. As I’m trying to walk away, the owner, this older 50-something year old woman who was about 4 foot 9, suddenly grabbed my right upper arm really hard. I was jerked back, and at this point, I was suddenly boiling mad, just extremely pissed off, the do-not-tamper seal was broken, the jar was dropped and shattered. (Poor analogies? Perhaps..) Anyway, I turned around and started yelling at her at the top of my lungs – I think I said, “Don’t you fucking touch me, you fucking bitch!” It was her finally crossing the line and touching me that did it. At this point, I was standing over her and nearly about to punch her teeth out. Yes, I was enraged. She was still yelling at us, but we finally broke through the crowd and walked away at a brisk pace. And it’s suffice to say we avoided that street until we left Hanoi the next night!

Anyway, just a few adventures. I’ve heard of even more horrorific stories from friends and fellow travelers. The Vietnamese, especially in the North, definitely aren’t as friendly as Thais and Laos, and in fact, can be downright hostile. Currently, I’m in this small town called Hoi An fairly close to the coast and also on a river. I think I’m headed out of this town tomorrow for Nha Trang, another coastal-ish town, then Dalat, Mui Ne, and then Ho Chi Minh City. But yeah, I’m seriously considering coming back to the states relatively soon, maybe after Cambodia and southern Thailand. Like late Oct/early November-ish. Which would mean I’d cut out Malaysia, Singapore and Australia, maybe even Hawaii. Which would suck, because I always meant to end up in Oz towards the end of my trip. But I don’t know… Too many unknowns! Ahh!

Any suggestions?