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This is an old post from like 2 months ago that I meant to edit, but didn’t have time to. I’m posting it anyway, because I still think it’s insightful about my life in Seoul and the things I went through. Enjoy my broken English, haa.
Below this post is FINALLY a new post about ‘Nam.
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man, i’m so delayed with these updates… i wanted to write earlier in the week, but just couldn’t get myself to write in a way that i was pleased with. (my english is also deteriorating. i’ve been dropping articles and mixing tenses, having to simplify my speech for the students at work. i start a lot of sentences with “first of all” since i’m teaching them how to use transitional phrases in multi-paragraph essays. so sorry about the hasty writing style.) to sum up, my days have been really catatonic – it’s been mostly pleasant the last few weeks, but there were indeed a couple of really hellish days. i’ve gone sightseeing and visited a couple of historic places, and that’s definitely made me a lot happier. i’ve decided stressing out about work is useless. the job shouldn’t be a priority for me. i’m here to enjoy myself and my time here, right? and not just waste my energy at the hakwon all day long.
okay, quick summary of work (i will definitely have to go into more detail about this later, because there are a lot of interesting cultural differences that i’ve been shocked to learn in the school environment):
have i mentioned that the schooling system is insane here? the parents are insane. the kids are insane. the whole system is insane. with some classes, the most poorly behaved ones, i’m essentially a glorified babysitter. i can’t tell if the kids misbehave because they’re taking all of their anger and hatred of the system and their parents out on me, or if they’re simply spoiled kids – i think it’s both.
but some days, i do sympathize with the kids. if the kids don’t do their homework, are late or are absent, i have to tell the front desk people, who call the parents. often, i hear the next day that they got yelled at by their parents. one really adorable and good student forgot to do his homework one day and begged me not to call his house, or else he wouldn’t be able to come to school on monday (this was a friday). i asked him why, to which he said that he’d be too badly bruised to come to school. um, yeah. another got yelled at for a couple of hours. it’s really pretty insane. then i asked them if they loved their parents and they automatically said yes. i don’t get it. i mean, my parents were pretty strict with me too, but i don’t know. i was shocked and unnerved to hear these things…
i really didn’t realize the whole idea of “saving face” was a big cultural thing here (because it’s pretty subtle), but it is. that’s why so many of the kids don’t participate, because they don’t want to embarass themselves. and here i am, a thoroughly American teacher (who, by the way, doesn’t know any of the pop starts, celebrities, historical figures, or Olympic athletes of korea – EXTREME SHOCK FROM THE STUDENTS, like the whole class gasped in horror and disappointment) trying to teach the class American-style.
but because the kids DO know that i’m American and we’re supposedly easier to manipulate and nicer than Korean teachers, and because they know that i’m one of the younger teachers with less experience, the kids really do try to test my limits. they try to break you (me). really, they do. also, teachers used to get a lot more respect even in the ’80s or ’90s, but with the advent of the internet, cell phone cameras and small video cameras, they haven’t. why? back in the day, teachers used to be able to use corporal punishment. but not anymore… because kids started taking photos of their bruises and whatnot and posting them all over the internet. parents have also begun spoiling their children immensely. and although teaching was considered a respected profession even through the ’90s, it’s less so now…
anyway, where i was going with this is that kids are less fearful and respectful of teachers. plus, i’m a young Korean American. so they talk back and stand up to me even more. i had to kick a kid out of class early last week, but he didn’t even budge. there’s also a way of talking in Korean that’s really rude (opposite of the honorific) and some of them had started using that. i took a kid aside after class earlier this week and he just said right to my face, “i don’t want to talk to you” and turned around and left. this is the shit i’ve been dealing with.
PLUS, so many kids, even the good ones, expect you to get them snacks for class (this is very common). and they’ll ask for things. it’s weird. but yeah, they want you to buy things for them! it’s insane. and they say, well, you’re older so you should buy us things.. this is a cultural thing – older people do really buy lunch for the younger people all the time. for instances, my relatives give me money all too frequently. each week, they give me an allowance of $100! i’ve started refusing, because honestly, it’s nice, but they don’t need to give me money and i feel awkward accepting so much.
the kids make fun of me often, because i can’t speak korean and they will say things in korean to test my comprehension level and what not. they also talk about me among themselves like i’m invisible and can’t hear them. for instance, “the teacher has a small face.” and i responded, “oh really?” as in, “i heard you” but they remain unfazed. or they will talk about weight in front of you. “does Min teacher weigh more than 45 kg?” um yeah…
the maturity level of most kids is SO LOW! i thought a lot of them were in middle school, like 13 or 14 – 15 at the absolute oldest. but a lot of them are 17 or 18. some of the kids are so adorable, but really, they’re devilish. also, the kids, admins, and teachers alike all gossip so much.
oh yeah, i used the word “fucking” in one of my worst classes and got in a little bit trouble for it. yeah.. i was so frustrated and said “this will get you a fucking zero.” the kids immediately told the front desk and some even told their moms. i mean, fucking asshole kids. BUT.
there’s a big but. i’ve dropped two of my classes (those classes with the worst kids), and have a much lighter schedule now, and i love the kids i have in the mornings in the remaining classes i teach. but then, there’s the whole thing of becoming TOO friendly with them. they want my facebook/myspace/cyworld (a korean social network i don’t have), they want to visit me, they want to TAKE ME PLACES like this island called Jeju island (one female student told her mom about me. and now her mom and her both want me to visit her hometown – Jeju Island which is a super nice kinda tropical island that’s a plane ride away. like whattt??). they want to hang out with me. i mean, this is a little overboard. i know other teachers are more lenient in a lot of ways, buying their kids lunch and stuff, but i would never do that. and to hang out with them on weekends? i mean, some of the kids are cool.. but like, this is kinda weird.
apparently, this is the hottest song in korea right now, i was corrected by my students. not that other song i posted before.
i think this song and mv is pretty representative of the somewhat narcissistic/vain (or alternatively, confident?) society here. the song is all about how the narrator think she’s so hot and turns heads. niiice. i have to say it’s a pretty addictive song.
and i hear this song below in every freakin store i go into.
these ones are popular too. and hilarious. also about being pretty. they love their bubblegum pop.
kind of like the states, korea’s really into the whole ’80s thing right now. hipster clothing is also big here. for instance, i went to several different optometrists over the course of the week trying to find a pair of eyeglasses, but the majority of the stuff they carry right now are the ray ban-type frames or really thick artsy frames that i couldn’t really wear on a normal basis. yeeeeea.
and canadians.
okay, sometimes.
so i’ve been fortunate in that most of the ones i’ve befriended have been cool so far. but many, especially the women, love to complain and talk shit about living in korea. this girl i met over the weekend was really chill except for this (rather huge) flaw. she couldn’t stop griping about how koreans don’t understand her, can’t speak english, aren’t accomodating enough, and was also talking shit about some aspects of the culture here. (to be fair, i’ve done my share too. but i’m over it now; plus, i was mostly frustrated with myself. she, on the other hand, has been living here for 4 months and has 6 more to go.)
first off, in terms of the language issue, the whole time she was talking, i was thinking to myself, dude, you’re in a foreign country, learn the fucking language. i don’t see WHY anyone in korea should have to accomodate her. yeah, she’s a foreigner so it’s harder for her to get around, but she chose to come live here. just because she teaches english doesn’t mean everyone around her is obligated to know and speak english. she can’t expect everyone around her to understand her foreign language in this country. this is not america (or canada, in her case). moreover, i think this is entirely bullshit, because the entire public transportation system, restaurants, and so many other public places have english translations available.
secondly, as far as the cultural aspects, i think the intolerance on her part is terribly immature. that she had these glamorized expectations of how koreans should treat her is bullshit. there is no reason why anyone should be obsequious or deferential to her. the fact that she’s so often rude to people here is fucked up in itself. just because she’s white and american/canadian doesn’t merit her special treatment. finally, korea is not a fucking third world country (in fact, it is one of the richest), so don’t treat it like one (not that you should treat third world countries poorly, but that’s the way many americans’ think and behave..).
what was also funny about all of this is that she’s supposedly done a lot of traveling around south america, where i doubt anyone spoke english. sure she learned spanish, so why doesn’t she try to learn the language here?? or if her idea of traveling is hanging out with only english-speaking people, she needs a serious reality check.
i’m going to write it off as being partially due to the fact that the girls aren’t getting as much ass as the white dudes here, but this is definitely a large disparity i’ve noticed between the white men and women since i’ve gotten here. the white dudes love love LOOOVE korea, while the white girls think it’s only so-so. but man, the white superiority complex is really killing me..
no wonder americans get hated on around the world. this is the exact type of shit i hate about our country. ignorant, pompous bastards.
i think phase 2 of my culture shock has finally ended (this would be the frustration/irritation stage where things generally irked me). it’s now evolving into the adaptation phase, phases #3.
today, a taste of pop culture in korea.
such a popular song right now. these girls are really popular. and women in generally are very beautiful and put together here – always dressed up from head to toe with make-up.
pics from the past week: http://www.flickr.com/photos/28819999@N08/sets/72157606739701906/
descriptions will have to come later.
also, the link to charisma man mentioned in a previous post.
i was amazed and excited to see lush forested mountains and fields as i stared outside the window of the bus to gangwondo province on friday. this past weekend proved to be a much needed reprieve from my catatonic life in seoul. the valleys donning so many happy shades of green were just unbelievably beautiful.
i am, however, kicking myself for having forgotten to bring my camera along. so no album of the bucholic landscape yet, though i think i’ll try to steal my friend’s pictures on facebook… for now, my tepid descriptions will have to do. korea’s foliage is a lot like that of the east coast of the states. so imagine a lot of conifers and deciduous trees, but along valleys of pyramidal green mountains. i think i can safely say that it was a much prettier sight than that of any place i’ve been to in quite some time. there were endless, endless valleys of green mountains! so gorgeous. and so CLEAN! it was definitely a lot cleaner and greener than i had ever expected it to be, and much more so than even say, bear mountain, the shenandoah, western mass or any other mountain i’ve ever been to in the recent past… i don’t know, but it was really amazing. and amazingly different from seoul. i was in awe the entire 3-hour bus ride over there.
i went with a couple of other fairly new teachers i met a week ago. three women and a gay dude, a very girly outing it was. it was the best weekend i’ve had so far here. we stayed at one of the girls’ friend’s apartments in donghae, which is a beach town cradled by mountains on two sides.
our trip was rife with outdoorsy hedonism. on saturday, we went for a nice, fairly easy hike. the mountains here in korea are full of cute little, glistening streams. they’re again SO CLEAN! unlike the streams in the states that are often muddy or cushioned with dirt (not to imply they’re necessarily due to pollution or other environmentally unsound reasons), these streams were crystal clear, quite pebbly and embedded with small rock.. children were playing in the water and families were chillin and picnicking on the banks.
we stopped a couple of times to dip in the water and slide down a sloping rock.
we then took a peek into a buddhist temple at the foot of the mountain on the way back down, and had a nice, vegetarian dinner nearby afterwards.
more pictures to come when i collect my friend’s pictures into my own album. 
that evening, we chilled at the apartment, played drinking games, roamed around town drinking soju cocktails, met some other teachers chillin outside a ministop (7-eleven equivalent), and noraebang-ed (karaoked) till about 3 am. this was my first time karaokeing in korea, and probably only 3rd time ever in my life. fun times were had. the next morning, we took a cab over to mansan, supposedly one of the nicest beach in korea and baked for a couple of hours.
i still have to update you all on the previous couple of weeks and thoughts i’ve had. as for today, i hung out with my friend carissa again (one of the people i went to gangwondo with) and went to see a fortress and a free music concert (awesome) about 45 minutes from seoul where she lives. i know, i know, i hate writing posts just listing things that i’ve done too, so i’ll definitely update substantially again soon.
this is a really beautiful country. and i’m glad i got to experience some place other than seoul. i can’t thank my friend enough for inviting me along on this trip. on a side note, i think i’ve figured out why i’ve been dissatisfied with the city so much as of late, and that is that i don’t really like where i live. i live in gangnam which is the equivalent of the upper east side in nyc. commercial, rich, and pretentious. but for the most part, i think i’m slowly getting used to life here finally. i only have 3 more weeks left, and by that point, i’m sure i’ll be sad to leave this place and the friends i’ve made… but it’s too soon to feel nostalgic already..
i’ve written an as-yet unpublished post on the school system, my students, family life, and cultural differences. but it was so poorly and hastily written, i couldn’t bear to publish it. at least not yet. i’ll revise it sunday, as i’m going to the east coast of korea this weekend (seoul is on the west).
so a few interesting things: there’s been shock on the part of my students at my thoughts and behavior… they were shocked to know that i don’t know much about korean history (no clue about the names of famous korean historical figures or heroes), korean geography, or korean celebrities and pop stars. this surprise is partially unfounded. i mean, they KNOW i grew up in the States and that i don’t speak Korean well, and probably of all the teachers, speak it the worst.
BUT most shockingly, to the students demise, i am not actively supporting the korean olympic team. cue gasps from the entire class! i mean, i’ll definitely support them if i see them on tv or hear that they are doing well. but really. it’s not like i wouldn’t cheer them on if i were to see them on tv. so wtf, leave me alone.
“so who are you going to support,” they ask? well… umm… i mean, i’m probably not going to follow the olympics that much, but i did imply that as i AM from america and feel as though i am one, the answer is the obvious. “WHATTT?!” even more gasps. well, at the very least and if nothing else, i know a lot of the U.S. swimmers names. but really, the olympic coverage here doesn’t show the american team much, so it’s not like i can easily support them anyway.. and it’s not like i’m saying i’ll take sides if they’re up against each other. just let me be.
edit and side note: korea has been doing really well in the olympics, and i’m very happy for them. for such a small country, they leave a pretty big mark – i now know korea’s good at archery, shooting, judo, weight-lifting, and fencing. some reuter’s reporter even labeled the dude who won the 400 m freestyle as the new ian thorpe. congrats to him. his win is a big deal here and along with the chinese guy who came in second and the japanese dude who won the butterfly, the pundits are starting to say that the asians, who were never strong in swimming, are catching up to the White Man.
olympic medalists are treated like heroes in most places around the world (more so than the states), and likewise, here as well.. they keep replaying the moment when that swimmer won the gold. good for them, keep it up. just don’t call me a traitor.
that is what they call me here – a gyopo. it means foreign-born or foreign-bred korean.
i guess there can be two interpretations to this word – that i’m both korean and american, or that i’m neither of the two. i don’t know… so far, i feel the word’s been used to imply the latter. in the past few weeks, i’ve learned it’s not really a good thing to be. there are people who sort of resent that i’m not totally korean and can’t speak the language very well, but neither am i american enough really – ’cause i don’t have the appearance of the customary “American.” so the result is that they treat us (gyopos) ehem, “differently” than either group.. do i feel i have identity issues? i mean, i hope not much… i’ll elaborate on this in a later post with some conclusive ideas…
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also, remember from a previous post the whole thing about white guys who are nothings as home and yet are revered here? apparently, there’s a name for this whole phenomenon. zeros to heros. that’s what most of the white girls call them, anyway.
google or youtube Charisma Man. there’s a whole japanese comic strip based on this concept.
so i’ll post some new pictures instead.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/28819999@N08/sets/72157606534649060/
I went to a Buddhist temple in eastern Seoul last Thursday, and needless to say, it was beautiful. Even though it wasn’t in the most pastoral of settings (it was across from a mall, actually), this was just what I needed – a more cultural experience. It was quite possibly my first time ever visiting a Buddhist temple as well (although I’m sure it won’t be my last). Then on Saturday, I went to one of the palaces still standing from a previous dynasty in northern Seoul.. Got some things to say about this later..
Basically, I’m trying to keep it chill and not become so overwhelmed by this here big city.. I bought some postcards the other day, so if you want one, email me your snail mail address.
Still many thoughts in my head… You’ll hear back from me soon.
http://www.coexmall.com/language/en/html/character_info01.asp
mall’s apparently have mascots and characters… adorable. funny, but adorable.
also, in order to find more ‘likes,’ i’m going to have to do more ‘cultural’ things. there isn’t a whole lot to do in seoul other than to shop, eat out, and drink – just like any other city, i guess. which is why i’m hoping to go on some weekend trips soon.
again in bullet point fashion. my apologies…
- this place has an obsession with the english language, american things and western culture. anything american, really. almost everything mimics something american (clothing, food, commercials, music, etc – though not so much tv, i’ve noticed). for instance, there are stores that look like carbon copies of abercrombie, banana republic and other such american brand-name stores, although they do have the legit american imports as well.. all the ads and a lot of store signs are written in english (but nearly half the time in some absurd, broken english). tons of commercials feature american stars (one who’s really popular here right now is the dude from ‘prison break’ – ‘prison break?’ who watches that in the states? um, not me). EVERY child, student, and adult is in some way studying english – whether at school, on their own, or at after school tutoring centers. yet, at the same time, it’s not like people here are actually good at speaking it. i find all of this a bit troubling.
- i’ve started speaking back in english whenever i go into a store and don’t feel like dealing with the sales reps. it kinda works great.
- there’s an obsession with coffee here as well, but not real coffee – more like fake coffee, like mochas and lattes. but being a black coffee drinker, this is a rather large inconvenience to me, as cafe americanos are generally very weak and watery.
- in fact, most western food products (again, ubiquitous) are a little lighter and less fatty in general, which is both a blessing and a curse. (i’ve probably already lost 2 or 3 lbs here.) the yogurt is lighter which isn’t necessarily unpalatable, but some days, i yearn for the thickness of greek yogurt. however, i do feel that the pastries and baked goods are tastier here. yum.
- there are a lot more white men than white women. and most of them are often seen with korean women, which i find somewhat disturbing and weird. asian fetish much?
- there are (faux) hipsters in seoul! faux because i don’t think they’re totally genuine, only in dress. (but then again… hipsters by definition are faux everything, aren’t they?)
things i hate already:
- the rampant materialism and materialistic culture (for instance, my uncle’s had 6 cars in the last 12 years.. only one of the many examples i can think of.)
- the fact that i almost always feel poorly dressed now compared to these fashionable women
- the obsession with appearance (cosmetic surgery isn’t uncommon – it’s pretty cheap actually.)
- the HOMOGENEITY!!! everyone looks the same! (even as they are all pretty and well-dressed in their own way.) i dislike being surrounded by one race so often! i actually miss being different and having a sort of an identity. not only do i feel invisible here, but i sometimes feel lost as i look like everyone else, and yet, can’t communicate like everyone else! it’s quite frustrating. my heart jumps a little every time i see a foreigner now. and i seek every opportunity to speak english whenever i can.
- cost of living is extremely high, higher than nyc.
things i like:
- the food, snacks and little stores with curios and fun novelty items. and on that same level, the ubiquity of cute little things.
- the clothing, shoes, and other such superficial items if i could afford to spend money on them.
i need to work on lengthening this side of my list
many double-edged swords…
as far as the teaching job goes, i’ll elaborate on it later.. but MAN, it’s suffice to say that the kids here can be motherfuckin cruel. they will eat you alive and tear you to pieces.. and my co-workers are so-so..
stay tuned for more.
